Undone
by ennaxxor
Summary: Leonard's day is the same as every other... except that everything feels wrong. He can't shake the feeling that he's forgotten something, that something is missing, and these feelings seem to be tied to his blonde neighbor that he's hardly spoken to.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** All I own when it comes to Big Bang Theory are the DVDs and three t-shirts.**  
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**A/N:** Written for this year's Big Bang Big Bang challenge! Much thanks for Nicole for being my beta and giving support as needed.

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

The beeping of his alarm jerked Leonard out of his sleep. Even before opening his eyes, Leonard felt that something was different. For some reason, he had an overwhelming urge to just stay in bed and bury himself beneath his covers.

_Priya_. That's right. She was flying back to India today. After months of dating, and hiding him from her parents, she'd also hidden from him that she'd be returning home.

She had wanted to try a long-distance relationship, but Leonard knew he was hardly able to maintain a regular relationship; surely one with thousands of miles between them would be even more difficult. And he was still nursing a bruised ego from her insistence that her parents not find out about them. So he'd broken things off, and while it was hard (she had been his longest relationship, after all), at the same time it was easier than he'd expected.

For a minute he considered calling in sick, just taking a day off to do absolutely nothing. But as tempting as that sounded, he was finally getting to use the new cryogenic centrifugal pump, and he really couldn't afford to miss a day while it was available.

He finally cracked his eyes open against the early morning sunlight, and for some reason was surprised to see his blue comforter across his bed. But he'd been using that blanket ever since he moved in, almost eight years ago. Of course it would be there.

Shrugging it off, Leonard got out of bed and continued with his normal morning routine. Bathroom, teeth, breakfast, clothes... Sheldon was ready as usual right on time, and they drove to work without incident.

Leonard still couldn't shake the feeling that something was different, but he couldn't place his finger on what exactly it was. It was akin to having a word on the tip of your tongue, just out of reach. He pushed the thoughts aside when they arrived to the university, intent on getting the most out of his time with the new equipment.

The morning passed quickly, and slightly after noon Leonard made his way to the cafeteria for lunch. His last test had ran longer than he'd expected, and by the time he had his tray of food, Sheldon, Howard, and Raj were already seated and eating.

Leonard began to walk towards them, but after only a couple steps stopped cold, once again overwhelmed with that strange feeling he'd woken with, that something was not right. Only this time, he could tell it was somehow aimed towards Raj.

It was so unexpected that it took Leonard a few moments to place what exactly it was he was feeling, and was surprised when he realized it was anger. He was angry at Raj, and had no desire to see him, let alone eat lunch with him. But he couldn't remember why he was angry.

Leonard quickly cast his memory back over the past few days, few weeks even, but nothing out of the ordinary had happened. There had been work, and the usual game nights and dinners, but no fights (well, none other than trying to reason with Sheldon), no big issues. Just yesterday, in fact, Leonard and Raj had played a spirited one-on-one Halo tournament when Sheldon was engaged with his new issue of Green Lantern, and Howard had been busy taking his mother shopping.

No, there was no reason for Leonard to be upset with Raj. It must have been some strange dream, Leonard decided, that he was remembering fragments of.

Realizing that he'd been standing still for far too long in the middle of the cafeteria, he hastily continued his path to join his friends at their table.

"Your turn is up," Raj was telling Howard. "It's my turn now."

"But I've got a possible date lined up for next week," Howard argued. "I need it."

"Dude, when has the Time Machine ever helped you score with a chick?" Raj asked skeptically.

"There's a first time for everything."

"There are also schedules that prevent us from spiraling into chaos," Sheldon said. "And your time with the machine is up."

"Leonard, you're the primary owner, tell Howard it's my turn now," Raj said, turning to Leonard for support.

For a second Leonard felt the urge to take Howard's side, just to annoy Raj, but he remembered he had no reason to do that.

"Raj is right, Howard, you've had it for a month."

Howard scowled.

"Fine. Just remember that means you guys all have to help me move it. And my mother's trying this new diet, so she is not in a friendly mood."

"When is she ever?" Leonard asked with a small laugh, digging into his lunch at last.

Sitting with the guys, slipping into the conversation, Leonard was once again able to cast aside his strange feelings regarding Raj and just focus on the present. Nothing was wrong, and he was already finding it laughable that he thought he'd been so angry at Raj.

After lunch Leonard continued with his experiments, and at five o'clock on the dot met with Sheldon to return home. Sheldon talked about the remarkable progress he'd accomplished that day (as always), and Leonard only half-listened, adding only the smallest comments when needed to satisfy Sheldon.

Back at the apartment they checked their mail, dropped off their bags, and jumped on their laptops. Leonard aimlessly surfed the web until he ended up on Facebook. He had the feeling there was someone he wanted to check on, but he couldn't remember who, and a quick scan of his friends list didn't help either.

Deciding it must not have been very important, Leonard minimized his windows as Sheldon bid Amy farewell and ended their video chat (nearly a year had passed since their initial meeting, and they had yet to meet in person a second time), and the two roommates left for dinner.

Leonard turned automatically towards the left as he pulled out of the apartment's parking lot, and jumped when Sheldon asked sharply, "Where are you going?"

"To the restaurant," Leonard said, raising an eyebrow as he glanced at Sheldon. "It's Tuesday."

"I am quite aware of the day of the week. And Tuesday means we eat at Bob's Big Boy. Bob's Big Boy is to the right. You turned to the left. Therefore, you are not going to Bob's Big Boy."

"I... sorry." Leonard pulled into the left lane, and at the next light made a u-turn. "I don't know what I was thinking."

"Clearly you weren't thinking at all," Sheldon said.

Leonard ignored the slight - which was tame by Sheldon's standards, anyway - and continued to the restaurant, where Raj and Howard were already waiting for them. Leonard felt strangely as though it had been ages since he'd last been there, but at the same time he could remember eating there last week, and the same nearly every week before since he'd moved in with Sheldon.

They all ordered their usual. The feeling from that morning that something was wrong had resurfaced, and Leonard kept looking up around the restaurant, as if he was expecting to see someone. But no one else was meeting them there.

"Something wrong?" Raj finally asked, the third time they'd had to nudge Leonard to get his attention, which had been wandering elsewhere.

Leonard shook his head.

"It's been a long day,: he said. "I think I'm just tired."

He didn't feel like trying to explain what was wrong to them when he couldn't explain it to himself. After all, it _had_ been a long day - even with the new pump, they hadn't been getting the results they'd expected, and that resulted in extra work to figure out why. But surely he'd get more sleep tonight, and tomorrow would be better.

Instead the next day brought more of the same. Once again, Leonard woke up, went to work, ate lunch with his friends... The same thing he did every day. But once again, he found it difficult to shake the feeling that something was off, something was missing.

Leonard became ever more frustrated as the day continued. Although he didn't had an eidetic memory such as Sheldon's, he did pride himself on having what he considered an above-average ability to recall. So the fact that he couldn't remember or place what it was that was wrong was grinding on his nerves.

That night Leonard picked up Chinese food and brought it back to the apartment for their weekly Halo tournament. He dropped the food on the table, half-halfheartedly responded to Sheldon's inquiries about his dinner order, and grabbed a soda from the fridge.

"Is someone else joining us?" Howard asked, divvying up the food.

"No, why?" Leonard asked as he sank into his normal spot in the armchair.

"You got more food than usual," Raj said, poking around in a bag. "Looks like there's enough for a fifth person."

Leonard frowned. Thinking back, he realized he had been thinking of five when he placed the order in the restaurant, but now he had no idea why.

"Now we're going to have extra food," Sheldon complained.

"Not if we eat it," Leonard said, regretting the comment before he'd even finished.

"And disrupt our digestive systems for the rest of the evening? I don't think so."

Leonard rolled his eyes but didn't argue. He was the one who'd accidentally bought extra food, after all.

"Who eats this anyway?" Howard asked, opening one of the boxes

Leonard took the box, glancing inside. He's positive that he ordered this dish specifically for someone, but he doesn't know who.

"Let's just eat so we can play," Leonard said, setting the dish aside and reaching for his own food. "I'm starving."

The extra food was never eaten. After all, their order had been perfected over the years, to provide the exact amount of food needed for each of them. They rarely deviated from their regulars, and when they did, even their alternate orders were carefully selected to ensure that everyone ate their fill yet there was little to none left over. Leonard had simply ordered too much food.

The others didn't dwell on it (though Sheldon did comment that he would have to rearrange the items in the fridge to make room for the extra food), but Leonard's eyes were constantly drawn to those untouched food containers. Who had he bought them for? And why did he feel now like there was someone missing, someone who should be eating that food?

After a couple rounds of Halo the troupe headed to the comic book store, and for once Leonard finally felt like everything was normal. The four of them, browsing the new selections, arguing over who found an issue first... This was how things were supposed to be.

As they climbed the stairs, new purchases clutched carefully in their hands, Leonard thought that maybe he was finally getting over whatever funk he'd been in over the past couple days.

"We'll be over this weekend to help move the time machine," Leonard told Howard later that night, as he and Raj were getting ready to finally return to their own homes.

"I really can't keep it just a little longer?" Howard asked. "I'm telling you, Stacy would love it."

"Stacy? What about Bernadette?" Leonard asked, flipping through one of his new comics.

"Who's Bernadette?" Howard asked. Leonard looked up in surprise to see that Raj and Sheldon were also looking at him with confused expressions.

"Bernadette," Leonard repeated. "She's your... she's..." He frowned, unable to explain himself. He had brought up her name naturally, automatically, yet now he didn't know why. "Weren't you dating a Bernadette?" he finally asked, sure that that was it. He could even almost picture her, a short blonde who was tougher than she looked (though Howard tended to stray towards blondes, so that wasn't saying much).

"No, I'm pretty sure I wasn't."

"Have you ever been tested for insanity, Leonard?" Sheldon asked, asking in what was for him a concerned tone. "I'm sure my mother would be able to assist you in finding someone to talk to."

"I'm fine, Sheldon." Leonard said. "Never mind."

Howard and Raj left, still looking confused about Leonard, and Leonard escaped to his bedroom, telling Sheldon he was going to call it an early night. What in the world was wrong with him?

Leonard dreaded going to work the next day. He knew exactly what it would contain - more of doing the same thing, and more of feeling like something was wrong. Although his anger at Raj had mostly faded, and certainly hadn't reappeared as strong as it had that first morning, he had still felt it creeping up at times, catching him by surprise.

And there was still the never-ending feeling that something was just plain missing. He looked around his bedroom before leaving for work, checking that everything was where it was supposed to be, hoping that maybe he'd find that he'd left his Stan Lee autographed comic book out instead of carefully put away, or maybe a spare DVD disc that had never found its way back to it's case... But everything was still where it should be, and he knew that what he was feeling was larger than any of those things.

He hurried to finish getting ready for work, and grabbed an untoasted bagel to eat when he got to his office. His inspection of his room had taken longer than he'd realized, and Sheldon was already out the door and heading down to the car. Not wanting to listen to Sheldon's complaints about Leonard's tardiness all day, Leonard took the steps two at a time going down, and nearly ran into someone as he turn the corner on the stairwell between the third and second floor.

"Sorry!" Leonard said, grabbing the woman's arm to prevent her from falling forward to the stairs below. He steadied himself, and finally looked up into her face to receive the biggest shock yet.

"Penny?"

"Leonard!" She gave a small smile. "In a rush to get somewhere?"

Leonard realized he was still grasping her arm, and hastily let go.

"Oh, um, yeah. To work. Sheldon's probably waiting in the car for me by now. And you, uh, are you - where are you going?" He was babbling, and he knew it, but he couldn't help it.

"To work," she said, taking a small step back to he could clearly see her Cheesecake Factory uniform.

"Oh, right." His brain was suddenly going a hundred miles an hour, but he couldn't think of a single thing to say.

"Well, I guess we should..." Penny motioned down the stairs.

"Yeah, right, right."

Leonard let her go first, and stayed a step behind her, not wanting to rush off. Sheldon could wait. He realized that Penny hadn't crossed his mind once in the past few days, and that was somehow puzzling to him. Penny was... just Penny.

His next door neighbor. And nothing more. She'd moved in a few years ago, and that had been that. Leonard had been interested, of course, but after an awkward introduction and greeting, he and Sheldon had simply retreated to their apartment. They crossed paths occasionally in the building, it was hard not to living on the same floor, but other than brief hellos and polite small talk, there had been no further interactions.

So why was it that Leonard felt such a huge draw towards her now? He'd thought - been certain - he had moved on from the little crush he'd nursed when she first moved in. He knew she'd never be interested in him, and had accepted that. Yet now he felt like he'd known her his whole life, like her absence was part of the reason the past few days had been so strange. It was like she was a missing puzzle piece that had finally fallen into place.

They didn't speak again until they got the to parking lot. Sheldon, as expected, was waiting in the car, and honked the horn when he saw Leonard exit the building.

"Guess I better not keep him waiting," Leonard said, yet he didn't walk towards his car just yet.

"Guess not." Penny bit her lip, and for a second Leonard thought she was going to say something more, but Sheldon honked the horn again, causing them both to jump slightly.

"See you around," she said instead, and with a small wave she turned to her car. Leonard watched her go, certain that somehow things had just become much more complicated.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

All throughout the day Leonard had been unable to keep his mind off of Penny. It was like he was making up for the past few days of forgetting her, and now she was all he could think of. He had the nagging feeling that she was the one he had ordered the extra food for the night before, but that still didn't make sense, because she had never had Chinese food - or any type of food, for that matter - with them.

Leonard eagerly welcomed the end of the work day, since he hadn't been able to concentrate enough to get much accomplished anyway. He looked for Penny's car when he pulled into the apartment parking lot, and was surprised to see it wasn't there. Was she still at work?

Up in the apartment Sheldon made a beeline for his laptop. Leonard collapsed onto the couch (the left side, of course), and idly flipped through the TV channels, hardly paying attention to what was on. He didn't notice Sheldon's growing agitation until he finally spoke up.

"Leonard, either choose one channel or simply turn it off, but this constant channel flipping is most irritating."

Leonard sighed and turned it off. He glanced at his watch, wondering when Howard and Raj would show up for dinner, and then was hit with sudden inspiration.

"Sheldon?" he asked tentatively. "What would you think about eating at The Cheesecake Factory tonight?"

"We don't eat at The Cheesecake Factory," came Sheldon's immediate reply.

"I know we haven't eaten there in the past," Leonard said, trying to keep his voice calm, "but it's Anything Can Happen Thursday, right? So why not try something new?"

Sheldon raised his eyebrows as he turned away from his desk.

"Why not try something new?" he repeated, incredulity in his voice. "Do you really want me to list the vast number of reasons why not? I assure you, I have them."

"But the point of Anything Can Happen Thursday was to try new things," Leonard said, "to keep us from getting in the same rut."

"But we don't eat at The Cheesecake Factory. Where is this sudden desire to eat there coming from?"

Leonard shrugged.

"No reason in particular. We might like it, and we'll never know unless we try, right?"

"By that reasoning, we might as well turn to cannibalism for the night, as it is also something we've never tried."

Leonard rolled his eyes and didn't press the point any further for now. But to his surprise, when Howard and Raj showed up and asked what the plan was, it was Sheldon who brought it up.

"Leonard has suggested we eat at The Cheesecake Factory. And I suspect that if we don't eat there, he will mope about it all week, which I wish to avoid. And having examined their menu online, I believe it is likely that I will find something there suitable to my taste."

Leonard was shocked, but pleased. The four of them piled into Leonard's car, and as Leonard pulled out into the street to the left, he remembered doing the same thing just two nights before. Though he didn't know what he was doing then, suddenly he's sure that he had been intending to drive to The Cheesecake Factory. He's not sure how he knows this, but he does, just as he knows that that extra food had been meant for Penny.

They pulled up to the restaurant within a few minutes, and Sheldon eyed the outside of the building suspiciously, but didn't say anything. Leonard found himself growing increasingly nervous they approached the front doors, and stammered when he told the hostess that they had four in their party. He didn't dare ask if Penny is still working, not wanting to push his luck.

They were seated in a booth near the entrance. Leonard looked at a table in the middle of the restaurant, feeling they should be there instead, but it's currently occupied by a family.

"Your waitress will be by in a few minutes to take your drink orders," the hostess said in a bored voice before walking back to her desk.

"Wonderful service," Sheldon commented in a rare showing of sarcasm as he reached for a menu.

Leonard barely glanced at his own menu, already knowing what he wanted, then nervously scanned the restaurant. There was no sign of Penny. After a few long minutes a blonde waitress approached them, but it was not the one Leonard had came wanting to see.

"Hello, my name is Bernadette, and I'll be your waitress this evening," she said in a high voice with a friendly smile. "Can I start you guys off with some drinks?"

Leonard's ears perked at her name, and his eyes darted between Wolowitz and the waitress. But Howard was still examining his menu, and she was waiting patiently, no sign of recognition on her face.

And as positive as Leonard was that he'd never met Bernadette before in his life, he was also positive that he knew her, and she'd somehow been involved with Howard. Maybe he should give Mrs. Cooper a call after all.

"I'll just have a water," he said, trying to keep his voice level. The other guys placed their orders for their drinks, and she walked away, telling them she'd be back in just a couple minutes.

Leonard watched her go, and was the only one of the group to do so. When it was apparent that no one else was going to say anything, Leonard finally spoke up.

"She seemed a little familiar," he said in what he hoped was a casual voice.

"Who, the waitress?" Raj asked.

"Yeah. I dunno, like I've met her before."

"Sometimes I wonder how others survive without my eidetic memory," Sheldon said.

"And we wonder a lot of things about you," Leonard muttered. "But still, do you remember her?"

"No. I am certain that we've never met."

"Oh." Leonard paused. "Howard, what about you?"

Howard looked up from his menu.

"Don't think so. She sure seems like one you'd remember, though, right?" he asked with a grin.

Leonard shrugged, and the conversation ended as Bernadette brought their drinks. She then took their orders for their meals (Leonard was amazed with her patience as Sheldon drilled her endlessly about the menu and made his specific requests), and was off once more. And there was still no sign of Penny.

Halfway through their meal Leonard was picking at his fries, wishing they could just go home where maybe he'd run into Penny if she wasn't at work after all, when Bernadette returned with none other than Penny at her side.

"Everything okay?" Bernadette asked. Lucky for her, Sheldon had just taken a bite of his hamburger; Leonard wondered if she'd noticed this, for she continued on quickly before he had a chance to answer. "I just wanted to let you know that I'll be going on my break, so Penny here will be taking care of you while I'm gone."

"Hey guys," Penny said, addressing Leonard and Sheldon. "I didn't know you ate here."

"This is our first time," Leonard said. "Are you still at work from this morning?"

Penny pulled a face.

"Someone called out, so they asked if I could stay longer. I've been helping out at the bar. My feet are killing me, but hey - overtime!"

A woman from a few booths down motioned Penny over.

"I've gotta go," she said, "See you later."

Leonard watched her go, and this time the other guys picked up on something on his face.

"So that's why you wanted to come here for dinner," Howard said slyly. "Still got a thing for the neighbor, huh?"

"Of course," Leonard said, all too quickly. Not even Sheldon was fooled.

"You sure got over my sister fast enough," Raj said, though there was no malice in his voice. "But dude, if she was my neighbor, I would be all up in that," he added, nodding in her direction.

This time Leonard felt a little more justified in the anger that boiled up towards Raj.

"Sure, maybe if you could actually talk to her."

"Like you have?" Howard asked. "You've hardly spoken five words to her since she moved in."

"Well maybe that will change," Leonard said, not sure himself where this was coming from.

Howard rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, and I'm gonna tie myself down and get married."

"If this is the topic of conversation that will rise when we eat here, I'm not so sure I want to add it to our rotation," Sheldon said, speaking up at last.

"The conversation's over," Leonard said, returning to his fries.

Penny was busy enough between all her tables that she barely had time to drop off their check before she was rushing away again. Leonard slowly pulled the bills out of his wallet, and left a larger tip than usual. Penny caught Leonard's eye from across the room as they left, and gave him a smile and wave. Leonard returned it without a second thought, and felt that the dinner had been worth it after all.

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><p>That night Leonard fell into a fretful sleep, unable to clear his mind from the past couple of strange days. He rarely dreamed - well, rarely remembered them, but his imagination was on hyperdrive as he turned in his bed.<p>

_Penny rested her head on Leonard's shoulder and wrapped an arm around his waist._

"_Wow," she murmured._

"_Is that a good 'wow,' or a bad 'wow'?" Leonard asked, trying to keep his tone light but unable to completely hide his nerves._

"_A good wow," Penny said, looking up at him to smile. "A very good wow."_

"_Good." Leonard couldn't believe that barely a week ago he was still in the Arctic, wondering if he was wasting his time as he carefully preserved the snowflake for Penny - not even sure if he'd have the nerve to give it to her - and now they were… here. But where exactly was here?_

_Penny seemed to be thinking along the same lines._

"_So, um, I guess we're just gonna forget about that whole 'just friends' business?"_

"_I was hoping so." He pulled her slightly closer, to help convince himself that this was really happening._

_Penny giggled._

"_I guess we did just have to learn each other's rhythms," she said._

"_I'm not sure I've quite got it down," Leonard said, mock seriously. "We might need some more practice."_

_He rolled over to trap her beneath him, and smiled as she immediately began kissing him._

"_Mmm, I agree."_

Leonard woke up with a start, his boxer shorts tight, his heart racing.

Though he'd never admit it, he had had a couple dreams about Penny, right when she'd moved in. But they'd never been so intimate, and they'd never been so vivid. Normally when he woke up, trying to remember his dreams was like holding water in his hands - it'd slowly trickle away no matter how hard he tried to hold on.

But he could still almost feel Penny lying beside him, smell the shampoo in her hair, hear her laugh. Like so many other things from the last two days, he could have sworn that it had happened, though he knew it hadn't.

He tried to go back to sleep, but his bed suddenly felt too big with just him in it, and his heart was aching for someone he hardly knew.

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><p>Over the next few days Leonard ran into Penny other more often in the hallways. The conversations rarely strayed from small talk, but they were occurring more frequently than they had in the past. Those few minutes with Penny were the only times Leonard felt like things were close to normal, and he was constantly looking forward to seeing her again.<p>

At the same time, more and more memories (even though they weren't memories like anything Leonard had known, but that seemed to be the best way to describe him) continued to come to him.

Sometimes they were more like impressions, the vague feelings he'd had from the start, like when he saw an ad for Sex in the City DVDs, and thought _They're still not worth it at that price_, and then realized that he knew what happened in that season, though he had no recollection of watching it.

And sometimes they were more specific, like when they were moving the time machine from Wolowitz's to Koothrapali's, and it got stuck on the stairwell again (Raj's apartment really wasn't very time machine friendly), and Leonard recalled Penny yelling at them because the time machine made her late for work. And then (slightly fuzzier) he remembered pulling open the elevator door and swinging Penny inside with him, but surely that was his overactive imagination, because there was no way he had the upper body strength to pull off something like that.

But the one thing that the vast majority of these strange memories had in common was Penny. And he was determined to figure out why.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Leonard exited the apartment lobby and was heading towards his car when he heard a sniffle from behind him off to the side. He glanced back, and then did a double take when he realized it was Penny, sitting by herself on the bench right outside the main door.

All thoughts of the dinner order he was supposed to be picking up temporarily forgotten, Leonard doubled back.

"Are - are you okay?" he asked timidly.

Penny jumped in her seat and hastily tried to wipe the tears from her face.

"Oh, Leonard! Hi. Yeah, I'm fine."

"Really?" he asked, frowning. "Because you don't look fine. I mean," he stuttered when she furrowed her eyebrows, "you, you look great, but you look like you're upset."

She did look great - Leonard thought she looked like she was dressed for a night out, in a soft blue dress and high heels. But her eyes were puffy, and her makeup was smudged.

"It's just - Kurt," Penny said, giving in.

"Kurt? Who's Kurt?" Already Leonard was almost bristling at the sound of the name, and he had the feeling he wouldn't like his guy even if he wasn't somehow the reason for Penny crying.

"He's my boyfriend. Or was. We've been on and off for a few years. More off than on, really, but we ran into each other a few weeks ago at a mutual friend's party, and really seemed to get along. And he said he'd changed, which I _know_ he's said before. So I tried to take things slow, and we just hung out a few times, but he did seem different. Then tonight we were supposed to go out to dinner, and he just called to cancel."

"Did he say why?"

Penny shook her head.

"Just said something came up. But I heard a girl giggling in the background." Another tear escaped, but this time Penny didn't wipe it away. "I really don't know why I bother."

"You just need to find the right guy," Leonard said. "You'll find him eventually."

He sat next to her on the bench, feeling again that of sense of deja-vu, only instead of scattered memories and feelings he was hit with one as vivid as his dream from the other night.

"_You know, just once, I would like to go out with someone who is nice, and honest, and who actually cares about me."_

"_What about me?" The question was out before he could stop it. Nearly a year of living across the hall, and he was finally ready to do something, especially if the alternative consisted of watching Penny continue to get hurt by those jerks. If he waited any longer, he'd be stuck in the friend zone for sure._

"_What about you what?"_

_Or maybe he was there already._

"_What about if you went out with me?" he asked. Now or never, right?_

_Her tears stopped. Well, that had to be a good sign, at least she wasn't crying harder…_

"_Are you asking me out?"_

_It wasn't too late. He could still escape, get out of this before it started. Like when they went to dinner, and he'd insisted that it wasn't a date. But he was tired of waiting for her to notice him._

"_Um… yes…" he said, testing the words. "I am… asking you out."_

"_Wow."_

_Not exactly what he was going for. Maybe he did need to back track._

"_I was just going off your comment about the nice guy thing…"_

"_No, I know, I got that."_

"…_and honest…" _

"_Yeah, totally."_

"…_but, it's no big deal…"_

"_Yes."_

"_Yes what?" He asked, hardly daring to believe it was true._

"_Yes, I will go out with you."_

"_Really?" He knew the more times he asked to confirm, the more opportunities he was giving her to change her mind, but he couldn't quite wrap his mind around the fact that she'd said yes._

"_Yeah. Why not, I mean, what do I have to lose?"_

"_Yeah. That's the spirit."_

Leonard shook himself out of his thoughts - memory? - but Penny was then lost in thoughts of her own. He glanced at his watch - before much longer Sheldon would be expecting him back, and he hadn't even left yet.

"I'm sorry," Penny said, coming out of her reprieve, "I'm sure you've got somewhere you need to be."

"I was just gonna pick up some takeout for dinner," Leonard said, unwilling to leave. At least she'd stopped crying. "Do you want to come over for dinner?" Leonard asked, the words again spilling out before he could stop them. "I'm getting Indian."

Another memory - shorter - came to mind.

"_Anyway, um. We brought home Indian food. And, um. I know that moving can be stressful, and I find that when I'm undergoing stress, that good food and company can have a comforting effect. Also, curry is a natural laxative, and I don't have to tell you that, uh, a clean colon is just one less thing to worry about."_

"_Leonard, I'm no expert here, but I believe in the context of a luncheon invitation, you might want to skip the reference to bowel movements."_

He expected her to say no, to say she'd rather be alone, politely decline and say maybe another time…

"That actually sounds fantastic," Penny said, giving him a watery smile. "I'm just gonna head up to my apartment and change first."

"No rush," Leonard insisted. "I've still gotta pick it up, anyway. I'll, uh, let you know when I'm back."

"Sounds like a plan."

The food was ready and waiting for him when Leonard arrived at the restaurant, but he ended up waiting another 15 minutes for the extra food for Penny that he didn't order until he got there. When it was finally all ready he rushed to the car, hitting the ignore button again on his cell phone when he saw Sheldon's name lighting up the screen; he'd be home soon enough anyway.

Leonard went to his apartment first to free his arms from the bags of food.

"What took so long?" Sheldon asked immediately. "And why didn't you answer your cell phone?"

"Had to wait for some of the food," Leonard said, setting the bags on the table.

"This looks like more than the usual," said Howard, poking through the bags.

"Did you buy extra food again?" Sheldon asked. "If you keep this up someone else will have to get our meals."

"No, I didn't. I mean, I did, but there's actually another person who will be eating with us."

"Who?" Raj asked.

"Penny."

The three guys stared at Leonard.

"Penny, our neighbor?" Sheldon asked.

"What other Pennys do you know?"

They continued to stare, until Howard and Raj finally laughed.

"No, really, who's coming over?" Howard asked.

"I already told you," Leonard said, disgruntled. "Hold on a second and I'll go get her."

He left the apartment and crossed the hall to Penny's door. Glancing behind him, he saw that Howard and Raj were standing right by the not-quite-closed door, peering through the crack.

Rolling his eyes, Leonard turned back and, after taking a deep breath, knocked on Penny's door.

"Coming!" she called, pulling it open just a few seconds later.

"The, uh, food's here," Leonard said.

"Great, I'm starving!"

She closed the door behind her and followed him back to his apartment. Her makeup was redone, and Leonard was pleased to see no sign of the tears from earlier. He saw Howard and Raj scrambling to get away from the door, and they were sitting too-casually on the couch when Leonard and Penny walked in.

"Hi guys," Penny said, somewhat awkwardly. "Thanks for letting my crash your dinner."

"We had little choice in the matter," Sheldon began, but Leonard motioned for him to stop, and Penny didn't seem to have heard him as she looked around, taking in the apartment.

She walked up to look at one of the white boards, and Leonard could suddenly see her, three years younger, doing the same thing.

"_This looks like some serious stuff, Leonard, did you do this?"_

_Before Leonard could explain, Sheldon was showing off his calculations. Of course, he never missed an opportunity to flaunt his genius._

_Penny was, understandably, impressed._

"_So you're like, one of those, beautiful mind genius guys."_

"_Yeah."_

"_I have a board," Leonard said, unable to stay silent any longer. "If you like boards, this is my board."_

"_Holy smokes."_

"Holy smokes," Penny muttered, looking at his equations now. She frowned to herself, and when she looked up and caught Leonard's eye, she quickly looked away. "Uh, so, what'd you get to eat?"

They settled in around the coffee table, Penny sitting in Leonard's usual spot in the armchair, and Leonard pulled up one of the wooden chairs for him to sit in.

Leonard passed out the food.

"Ooo, this is my favorite!" Penny said, checking one of the containers.

"I know," Leonard said. Everyone looked at him in confusion. "I mean, I know it's one of my favorites, so I hoped you'd like it too."

Penny was still looking at him strangely, so Leonard busied himself with passing out the plastic silverware.

The conversation turned to Sheldon's latest plans to seek revenge on Kripke, and Leonard enjoyed seeing Penny laugh, and she even threw in her own suggestions. She fit right in.

"Don't you ever talk?" she asked Raj during a lull in the conversation.

His eyes widened and he shook his head.

"Not in front of women," Leonard explained. "Selective mutism."

"Makes him a pretty sucky wingman," Howard muttered. Raj leaned over to whisper in his ear. "Well you should have thought of that before!" Howard snapped.

"What about you?" Howard asked Penny.

"What about me what?"

"Seeing anyone?"

Leonard looked nervously at Penny, wondering if the question would hit a sore spot considering the events from earlier, but she took it in stride as she shook her head.

"No, not right now."

"Would you like to be?"

To Leonard's surprise, Penny laughed. "You know, I've got the strangest feeling that you'd actually get along well with one of the waitresses at the restaurant," Penny said, squinting at Howard.

Howard raised his eyebrows in surprise, but was intrigued.

"Really? Who?"

"This girl - Bernadette. I actually don't know her too well, but…" She shrugged. "I've just got a feeling. I'm a great matchmaker, actually. I got Kelly and Ryan together in high school, and they got married a year later!"

"That's great!" Leonard said.

Penny nodded.

"Course, it could've been cause she got pregnant, but still."

When they finished eating Leonard cleaned up the table and Sheldon turned on the TV.

"We're gonna watch a few episodes of Firefly," Leonard told Penny. "If you've got something else to do-"

"No, it's cool, I can stay," Penny said. "What's Firefly?"

"What's Firefly?" Sheldon asked sharply, turning to face her. Then to Leonard, "What sort of company are you inviting into our apartment?"

"Relax, Sheldon," Leonard said. "It's a TV show," Leonard said, "it only lasted one season, though."

"It's more than just a TV show," Sheldon said, to no one in particular, but no one responded, and he didn't say any more.

Penny stayed through the first episode, and the second, and the third… When at last Sheldon decided he'd had enough for the night, Raj and Howard left, yawning, and Leonard walked Penny over to her apartment.

"Thanks for the dinner invite," Penny said. "I had a good time."

"I'm glad," Leonard said. "Maybe… maybe we could do it again sometime?"

Penny smiled.

"I think I'd like that."

She leaned in suddenly, placing a quick kiss on his cheek.

"'Night," she said, almost a whisper.

By the time Leonard had realized fully what had happened, she was already inside her apartment, and he was looking at her closed door.

* * *

><p>Later that week she was getting her mail as Leonard and Sheldon returned from a paintball game, still wearing their gear. Sheldon continued up the stairs without a word, but Leonard stalled to say hi.<p>

"Paintball, huh?" Penny asked, taking in his attire. "How'd you guys do?"

"Better than last time," Leonard said. "Though you should see Howard - he got ambushed. His mom'll probably have to help him get the paint out of his hair."

Penny laughed.

"Well maybe sometime I can join you guys again, give you an extra edge."

"So long as we can make Sheldon promise he won't turn on you again," Leonard said, laughing as well.

They smiled together for a moment at the memory, but Leonard's smile froze when he realized it was one of those memories that had never happened. Based on Penny's expression, she had just come to the same realization.

"You know, I think I left something in the laundry room," Penny said, backing up and turning away from him. "I'll see you later."

"Penny, wait -" Leonard started, but she was already gone down the hallway. He considered going after her - there was nowhere back there she could escape, after all, but he had no idea what to say. With a sigh he turned to head up the stairs. He'd talk to her later, when they'd both had some time to think things over.

But very soon Leonard was wishing he'd gone after Penny after all. He didn't see her once the next day, or the day after that. Either Penny had gotten very busy at the restaurant, or she was doing an excellent job of avoiding him. And even when the group went to The Cheesecake Factory for their now weekly dinner, Penny was nowhere to be found.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

It was an unusually cold night for June, but the summer heat hadn't quite rolled in yet, and Leonard wasn't about to argue with Sheldon again about the thermostat settings. He pulled a blanket out of the closet and brought it with him to where he was settling in on the couch for a Twilight Zone marathon, but found it hard to stay comfortable as he was constantly shifting to pull an arm out from under the blanket to adjust the volume during commercial breaks. If only the blanket had some sort of hole for his arm…

Leonard almost laughed at himself when he remembered that he had exactly that. Pausing the television, he tossed the blanket aside and went to his room to find his Snuggie. He's not sure why he didn't think of it earlier, but he can't remember the last time he used it, so it must have simply slipped his mind.

But it wasn't in any of his drawers, nor was it to be found in his closet. He even nudged through his dirty clothes hamper, though he knew he had just done laundry a few days before, and he hadn't tossed it in there since. Growing annoyed, he went back to the closet in the living room, shifting through the blankets and boxes, but it quickly became clear that it wasn't there either. If Sheldon's organization skills were good for one thing, it was that Leonard never had to sort through piles of unorganized junk.

"Sheldon, have you seen my Snuggie?" Leonard yelled, still looking in vain through the closet, thinking maybe he'd missed something.

"Your what?" Sheldon asked in confusion, coming down the hall.

"My Snuggie. You know, my blue blanket with sleeves."

"Blanket with sleeves?" Sheldon asked. "That's clever. But no, I haven't seen it. I wasn't even aware that you were in possession of one."

"I showed it to you when I got it," Leonard said, turning to look at his roommate in surprise. "Remember, when we were going to the North Pole, and Penny -" He cut himself off.

"What about Penny?" Sheldon asked. "While I remember our North Pole expedition perfectly clear, I don't recall this Snuggie, nor Penny being involved in any way."

"Never mind," Leonard said, shutting the closet. He knew he wouldn't be finding the Snuggie in there - he wouldn't find it anywhere. He settled back into the couch, pulling the blanket around him. He hit the play button on the remote, and was relieved when Sheldon didn't press the matter further and went back to his own room.

"You unlock this door with the key of imagination," the host on the program said. "Beyond it is another dimension - a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You've just crossed over into the Twilight Zone!"

Leonard found it hard to concentrate on the episode. He recognized it as one he'd seen before, but couldn't remember any further details about what happened.

The main character, an astronaut, was orbiting Earth in his capsule when something went wrong and he crash landed. After the hospital staff checked him out and he appeared to be all right, they released him to go home. But there was a white picket fence that he didn't remember, and no one knew who John F. Kennedy was, and people kept calling him Colonel instead of Major… Finally the character was forced to consider the fact that he'd somehow been transported into an alternate universe.

By the time the episode ended, Leonard was leaning forward towards the TV, his eyebrows furrowed, completely riveted. Was this the answer? Was this supposed to be some kind of sign or message?

But it wasn't quite the same. He had all his memories from this universe, could remember keeping the time machine, could remember leaving for the Arctic without a word to Penny, could remember passing her on the stairs countless times with no more than a friendly nod.

Yet he also had these memories that didn't fit. Memories that he was just as certain had happened somewhere, sometime. Wanting to give up the time machine because of Penny, and the hug that lasted at least five Mississippis.

He needed to talk to Penny, that much was certain. Talk to her and figure out exactly how much she did, or didn't, remember. And then they'd figure out where to go from there.

* * *

><p>The next day at lunch Leonard told the guys that he'd forgotten some research papers he'd needed at the apartment, and he was going home to get them. After a mini-lecture from Sheldon on the importance of being organized, he managed to leave the university. But instead of going home, he went to The Cheesecake Factory.<p>

The restaurant wasn't very busy, as expected for a weekday afternoon, and the hostess told Leonard to go ahead and seat himself. He initially walked towards what had become their regular booth, but at the last second changed his mind and sat at the table he'd eyed that first night in the middle of the floor instead.

He didn't have to wait long; within just a couple minutes Penny walked up. She did a double take as she saw him sitting at the table, and her eyes narrowed as she approached.

"What can I get you?" she asked, her tone polite yet cold.

"Why have you been avoiding me?" he asked back, deciding to cut right to the chase.

"I haven't been avoiding you," she argued, but her eyes drop to her notepad, and Leonard knows she's lying.

"You have, ever since I saw you after the paintball game. When you mentioned playing with us again -"

"So I made a mistake," Penny said hotly. "Slip of the tongue. What's the big deal?"

"It wasn't just a slip of the tongue." Leonard lowered his voice, not eager to be overheard. "You remember coming to play paintball with us. I remember it, too. It was after you shot Sheldon's cushion with the paintball gun, and he had to have it dry-cleaned. Only even then he said it still wasn't right."

"None of that ever happened."

"But you still remember it," Leonard insisted. "And so do I."

Penny gave him a hard look, and Leonard could practically see the wheels turning inside her head, the calculations behind her eyes, as she weighed her choices and what to do.

"Come over tonight," she finally said. "Eight o'clock. We'll talk then."

Leonard couldn't help but smile.

"Eight o'clock," he repeated. "I'll see you then."

Neither of them knew what to say next, until Penny finally asked, "Well, do you actually want to order?"

At the mention of food Leonard's stomach grumbled, reminding him that he was hungry, and he quickly placed his order. Penny wasn't the one to bring it to him, the waiter who did bring it out said she'd gone on her break, and Leonard didn't see her again before he left.

Promptly at eight that evening Leonard knocked on her door. She opened it almost immediately, and Leonard wondered if she'd been waiting right on the other side for him.

"Hi," she said softly, looking much more vulnerable than she had earlier that day in the restaurant. She'd changed out of her Cheesecake Factory uniform into a loose t-shirt and flannel pajama pants, though her hair was still in its braid from earlier. Leonard thought the effect somehow made her look much younger.

"Hi," he said, shifting his weight from one foot to another. "Uh, can I come in?"

Penny nodded and quickly stood back, allowing him space to enter. Although he'd technically never been in her apartment, it was exactly as he'd imagined, and that fact didn't surprise him. He looked around slowly, taking it all in, flashes of new memories hitting and then flying away before he could fully understand them.

"Do you want a drink?" Penny asked, walking over to her fridge. "I've got water, and… well, just water. Unless you want peppermint schnapps," she added, trying to make a joke.

"_What are we drinking now?"_

"_Peppermint schnapps."_

"_Why would you buy peppermint schnapps?"_

"_Because I like peppermint, and it's fun to say schnapps. Hey, Leonard?"_

"_What?"_

"_Schnapps."_

Leonard didn't laugh.

"Schnapps," he whispered quietly to himself. He glanced at Penny, but she was looking at the bottle of schnapps, a small frown on her face. "Just water's fine," he said louder, this time getting her attention.

She nodded and poured two cups of water, then handed one to Leonard and sat down on the opposite end of the couch from him.

Leonard took a sip, more to give himself time to think than anything else.

"So," he started.

"So."

Leonard sighed.

"Look, I don't really know how to say this without sounding crazy, and I've been starting to think that maybe I am crazy… But for the past couple of weeks I keep getting these memories of things that didn't happen. And, well, you're involved in a lot of them." He thought he saw her blush, but he continued on. "And ever since they've started I just feel like… Like something's wrong. Or something's missing. And if you're at all feeling the same… well, maybe we can try to figure out what's going on."

Penny just sipped her water, and Leonard waited, knowing instinctually not to push her, to let her speak when she was ready. Sure enough, that patience paid off.

"It started a couple weeks ago on Tuesday," Penny finally said quietly, not looking at Leonard. "Well, I'd felt off somehow on Monday, I guess, but I couldn't pin down why, and just thought I was having a bad day. Then Tuesday was the same, and I remember thinking that at least you and the guys would be coming in for dinner, and the thought cheered me up. But then it hit me that I'd never seen you guys in the restaurant, and even if you had it's not like we were close or anything… and it just didn't make sense.

"And then the next day I was flipping through the TV channels… And Star Trek was on. For some reason I stopped to watch it, and I remembered watching the episode with you, in your apartment. But I've never watched an episode of Star Trek in my life, let alone been in your apartment."

Leonard let her talk, listening intently. He fought the urge to reach out and hold her hand.

"I thought I was going crazy too," she admitted. "But then when I saw you, when we talked… Something seemed to click. It felt like things were finally right. Like we had this connection that I don't have with anyone else. And then that just confused me even more, because I hardly _know_ you."

She finally seemed to be done, but Leonard waited another minute just to be sure before he spoke.

"I think I might have an idea of what's going on," he said. "But I'll warn you ahead of time, it sounds pretty crazy."

"This is already crazy," Penny said with a dry laugh, "I'll take any explanation I can get."

So Leonard told her about the Twilight Zone episode he'd seen the other day, how the man had somehow gotten transported to an alternate dimension, and his theory that something along the same lines had happened to them.

There was silence again after he finished, until Penny finally said, "You're right. That does sound crazy."

"I know, but it's the only thing I can think of that comes close to making any sense out of this."

"But taking advice from a sci-fi TV show?" Penny asked skeptically.

"There's actually some scientific arguments for parallel universes," Leonard said, jumping onto the tangent that he felt slightly more comfortable with. "I mean, they're all theories, but they're there, scientifically. I mean, you take one of the basic ones, Schrodinger's Cat -"

Penny's eyes widened, and Leonard knew why.

"_But before you say anything, have you ever heard of Schrodinger's Cat?"_

"_Actually, I've heard far too much about Schrodinger's Cat."_

"_Good."_

_He steps forward before he loses his nerve, grabs her arms and pulls her into a kiss. It's not an earth shattering kiss, hardly more than an extended peck, really. But her lips taste like strawberries, and he can feel her relax in his arms, and he knows he can't wait until he gets a chance to do that again._

_The earth moved, at least, of that he was positive._

"_Alright, the cat's alive, let's go to dinner."_

"This is way too weird," the Penny said, burying her face into her hands.

Leonard had to agree.

"But it just proves that we're not crazy, right?" he pointed out. "I mean, if we're both remembering the same things… That's way too much to be some kind of coincidence."

"I guess so," Penny said slowly. "But it's still in no ways normal. Say we really are from an alternate dimension. Why do we have memories from this one? And how do we get home? I don't know about you, but I know I sure haven't been crash landing in a spaceship recently."

"I don't know," Leonard said, feeling helpless. "But at least we have a place to start."

"Yeah, because I'm sure googling this will tell us the answer."

"We need to get organized," Leonard said, ignoring her slight. "Piece together what we remember from what we, well, remember. You know, what's different between here and wherever. If we can figure out if there's some sort of central point from which all the changes are spreading… Maybe that'll help us figure out how to fix it."

Penny nodded.

"That actually sounds good. So… where do we start?"

"How about we write down what we remember?" Leonard suggested, "The things that don't fit. We'll each make out own lists. Then we can put them together, and compare to make sure we are remembering things from the same… whatever, and see if there's one point where it all starts. Do you have paper or something?"

Penny nods.

"Yeah, over in my printer… I never figured out how to set it up, so I never used it," she said. She picked up a few sheets and came back towards the couch, a thoughtful look on her face.

"Remembered something else?" Leonard asked.

"I think so."

"Well write it down."

There was silence for a few minutes as they made their own lists. Leonard wrote the easy things first, then paused before writing some of the more intimate ones.

"Everything?" Penny asked tentatively.

"Everything," Leonard agreed. He hastily finished his list, then waited for Penny to finish.

"Now what?" she asked, putting down her pen.

"Now we switch, I guess," Leonard said, "see what the other person wrote."

They both hesitated, then switched papers. Leonard scanned her list, noting some similarities to his (new neighbor - printer, Indian lunch invitation, and Snuggie among them), and a few that weren't on his list, though reading them he had the nagging feeling that they were things he should know (Leonard's birthday, lime kiss, Switzerland).

"Well, whatever's going on, it seems to be mostly contained between the two of us," Leonard said. "At least, those are the things we're remembering."

Penny nodded.

"Everything I remember from before I moved here - when I was first with Kurt, and then going back even further to Nebraska - I don't have any conflicting memories there. But as soon as I start thinking of stuff that happened when I lived here, that's where the confusion starts."

Leonard nodded.

"Clearly we were close in this other… dimension. But here we've hardy known each other."

"So where did things change?"

Leonard looked over their lists again to confirm his suspicion.

"It was right from the beginning," he said, "Day one. We both have memories of you coming over for lunch the day we met, but that didn't happen. That must have been it."

"Lunch?" Penny asked. "Seems like an awfully small thing to change so much."

"But it led to something," Leonard said. He had another flash, and thought he knew why he'd bristled at Kurt's name earlier. "We got to know each other. Without that happening… I knew you about as well as I knew the transvestite that lived here before."

"A transvestite lived here?" Penny asked, distracted.

Leonard shrugged off her question.

"Yeah, but that's not the point."

"Okay, so we know where the two dimensions, or whatever, split," Penny said. "So how to we get to the right one?"

Leonard didn't have an answer.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

They decided not to tell Sheldon or the others, at least not quite yet, about the odd situation they'd found themselves in. Partially because Leonard doubted they would have any answers anyway, and partially because a full explanation would require sharing their alternate memories, a prospect neither of them felt inclined to do.

Instead Leonard spent all his free time researching everything from the quantum mechanics of multiple universes to the multiverses of comics, and then shared what he'd found with Penny in the evenings.

"Fringe completely centers around parallel universes," Leonard said one night. "There are two, that are almost completely identical, except for small, random changes. And then people can cross over from one side to the other."

"How?" Penny asked, not looking up from her final nail she was painting.

"There are different ways. Walter built a machine that ripped a hole between them, but Walternate -"

"_Walternate?_" Penny cut in with a laugh.

Leonard shrugged.

"Well you have to distinguish between the two somehow."

Penny rolled her eyes.

"But when they crossed, they still knew who they were, right? They didn't get their memories all mixed up."

"Generally, right. But there was this thing with Olivia…" he trailed off when he realized she wasn't really paying attention. "Are you okay?"

"Of course, I'm fine. Well as fine as I can be, all things considering."

"You just seem a little… distracted."

Penny carefully replaced the cap on her nail polish.

"I guess I'm just having trouble seeing the point in all of this," she said. "I mean, how is some TV show that no one watches going to help us?"

"People watch Fringe -"

"And we're talking about trying to get back to some 'alternate universe,' that we're not even sure if it exists… What's so wrong with just staying here?"

"But, the memories -"

"Are weird, I know. But we're still no closer to figuring things out. Maybe we're _supposed_ to be here."

Leonard didn't know what to say to that. Silently he flipped though his outline of notes and theories he'd made that afternoon, hoping an answer might jump out at him.

"Does this really feel right to you, though?" Leonard finally asked. "Those few days when it all started, before I finally ran into you on the stairwell, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing. And now that I figured out what it was… everything still feels off. I _want_ to remember everything. I want to remember us. Being here… I can't describe why, or how, but I know it's not right."

Penny bit her lip, but kept her gaze on her lap.

"Maybe it's just me, then," Leonard said with a sigh. "If you don't feel the same, I'll just go home -"

He started to stand, but Penny reached out to grab his hand, and he sank back into the couch.

"Don't," she said quietly. Together they looked at her hand on his, and slowly she intertwined their fingers. Their eyes met, and then they were leaning towards each other. Leonard's eyes fluttered shut, but before they met in the middle -

_Knock knock knock._ "Penny." _Knock knock knock._ "Penny." _Knock knock knock._ "Penny."

Penny dropped her head to his shoulder instead, the moment gone.

"What the hell was that?"

Leonard groaned and leaned backwards against the couch.

"It's Sheldon. He's got this weird… well, he's Sheldon."

Penny sighed and stood to answer the door.

"Yes, Sheldon?"

"Good evening, Penny. I was just wondering if Leonard was still here, which as I can see from behind you, he is."

"What do you want, Sheldon?" Leonard asked.

"I was about to go to bed, and wanted to remind you first that I need you to drive me to work early tomorrow."

"Got it."

"Goodnight then." Sheldon nodded to Penny, then crossed back into 4A.

"I should probably get to sleep soon, too," Penny said as she turned back to Leonard. "I've got an early shift tomorrow, too."

"Right."

Leonard slowly gathered his papers, wishing Sheldon could have waited just another minute before interrupting.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow night?" Penny asked, biting her lip again.

"Sure. Tomorrow night."

* * *

><p>Leonard took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. The results simply weren't turning out right. And by "right" he didn't mean how he wanted them to, but they simply didn't make any sense.<p>

Leonard reexamined the molecules, then made another note on his computer. He was starving, and exhausted, but it was his last day with the pump, and he needed to get this done. Looks like dinner would be coming from the vending machines.

Deciding to take a small break, Leonard pulled out his cell to call Sheldon.

"Hello?"

"Hey, look, I was just calling to tell you guys to go ahead to the restaurant without me, I'm probably not gonna make it for dinner."

"Leonard?" There was a rare note of confusion in Sheldon's voice.

"Who else would it be, Sheldon?"

"I don't know, all group dinners have been effectively cancelled until further notice, you as Leonard should know that."

Leonard rubbed his forehead.

"Cancelled? What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the rift between you and Koothrappai that has effectively torn our little social group apart."

"Raj? Why am I mad at Raj?" Faintly he remembered that initial anger he'd felt towards Raj, when things were first getting weird, but he'd never figured out a reason for it."

"Is this a bazinga?"

"Just answer the question, Sheldon."

"If I must, though there seems to be little rhyme or reason to this conversation. It stems -"

The line went dead.

Leonard cursed and redialed Sheldon's number.

"Where are you?" Sheldon asked, skipping any sort of greeting. "We're waiting for you to leave for dinner."

"What? I already told you, I can't make it. I'm working late."

"You have said no such thing."

"Yes, I did. And then you told me group dinners have been cancelled."

"I said no such thing."

Leonard was nonplussed.

"But - I just called you, like a minute ago."

"I assure you, I received no such call. Perhaps you shouldn't work late tonight, you seem to have maxed out your mental capabilities for the day."

Leonard sighed.

"Goodbye, Sheldon. I'll see you later."

He tossed his phone on the desk and ran a hand through his hair. _What was happening?_

The printer churned out the latest set of data printouts, and Leonard seized them as a distraction. The spikes across the page instantly caught his attention, and then an idea occurred to him. A ridiculously impossible idea, but Leonard was starting to think these days that just about anything was possible.

Leonard sifted though the files a few weeks to those that went back to the week the odd memories had started. His heart pounding, Leonard grabbed a few select printouts and stuffed them into his bag.

He drove past The Cheesecake Factory, but didn't see her car, so he went back to the apartment instead. Unfortunately, she wasn't there either. With no idea of where else she might be, and not feeling up to a wild goose chase, Leonard sat on the bottom of the stairs that led up to the fifth floor, right in front of her apartment door. He wanted to be sure to catch her as soon as she got home.

But an hour passed, and then two, and Penny still wasn't back. More than once Leonard reached for his cell phone, finger poised over the speed dial keys, intending to call her, before remembering that he didn't have her number saved. When another half hour had passed by, with still no sign of her return, Leonard pulled out his phone again, determined to contact her.

He must have known her cell phone number in the other dimension, he was sure of it. All he had to to was access that memory. Of course, there was no guarantee that cell phone numbers stayed the same across dimensions, but it was the best thing he had to go on.

Looking at the screen, he dialed 1, and then the area code. Okay, that's a start, he thought to himself. His thumb hovered over the keys, unsure of where to go. He pressed one key at random, then another, then shut his phone in frustration. Already he knew that wasn't right.

He was thinking too hard about this. Recalling phone numbers you memorized, especially ones as important as Penny's, didn't require rocket science. It should be as easy as remembering the date of your birthday - numbers so engrained in you that you don't even have to think about it.

Taking a deep breath, Leonard flipped open his phone again and let his fingers dial, trying to keep his mind blank as the numbers filled the screen. To his surprise, it wasn't even an area code he recognized. But then, maybe Penny had kept her old number from Nebraska when she moved here?

Nervously he put the phone to his ear. _Ring_. Of course, there was always the possibility that he hadn't just dialed the number for Penny at all. _Ring_. Maybe he was putting too much faith in his subconscious memories. _Ring_. Well, he'd find out soon either way, one way or another. _Ring_.

"Hello?"

It was Penny's voice that answered. Not quite how Leonard could remember hearing it before (was it possible to slur your words when you only said one to start with?), but it was definitely her.

"Hey, it's Leonard," he said, wondering if she was going to question how he got her phone number. But either she didn't care, or she just didn't realize right now that she'd never given it to him.

"Leonard!" she said happily. "What's up?"

"I, uh, think I might have figured out the answer to our problem," he said, not wanting to say more in case there was someone else with Penny listening on the other side.

"Our problem?"

"Yeah... Um, you know, that thing we've been talking about, that you remembered." He put extra emphasis on the last word.

"Oh! Right, right. That sounds awesome. I'm out with Bernadette right now - do you remember Bernadette? She works at the restaurant with me. I was just telling her how cute she would be with Howard. Don't you think so? Do you remember the double date?"

Leonard hadn't, but he had a flash of it now, sitting awkwardly across the table from the two of them. Was that really a good idea?

"I miss dating you," Penny continued, not waiting for Leonard to talk. "Even though we never dated. Is that weird?"

"Maybe we should talk about it later, in person," Leonard said. He hadn't realized that Penny was such a talkative drunk.

"Leonard?" It was a higher pitched voice coming through the phone now, Bernadette's Leonard realized.

"Yeah?"

"I think Penny's had a little too much to drink," Bernadette said. "She hasn't been making much sense… This is the first time we've really spent time together outside of work, so I'm not sure how she usually is."

"Right."

"Anyway, will you be there if I come drop her off? I'm not sure she should be left alone, at least not at first."

"Or I could come pick her up," Leonard offered, feeling bad that Bernadette was being saddled with Penny.

"No, it's fine, I was going to call it a night anyway," Bernadette insisted. "In case Penny can't give directions, what street are you guys on?"

Leonard gave her the address, and Bernadette said they'd be there shortly. Leonard stood up and paced the small distance between the two apartment doors. If his theory was correct, they wouldn't have a very large window of opportunity to fix things - if that's even what they wanted to do. Add in the fact that technically Leonard only had one more day with the equipment, and they were running on a very tight timeframe.

Just fifteen minutes later he heard the girls coming up the stairwell. Penny was able to walk on her own without any support from Bernadette, so either some of the buzz had worn off, or she knew how to hold her liquor; Leonard was betting on the latter.

"Leonard!" Penny said, breaking into a smile when she saw him standing there. She walked over to him and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Thanks for bringing her home, Bernadette," Leonard said over the top of Penny's head.

"No problem. Good luck working out… whatever it is you guys are working out."

Leonard thanked her, and Bernadette turned to leave just as the apartment door to 4A swung open; Howard and Raj were leaving. Leonard hadn't even known that they were there, but apparently the movie marathon ran late.

"I'm telling you, you're wrong," Howard was saying as they left. Raj opened his mouth to argue, but froze when he saw the two women in the hallway.

"And now I win," Howard said smugly. Raj leaned over to whisper in his ear, but Howard ducked out of the way. "Nope, sorry. Can't say it out loud, I can't hear it." Howard then took notice of who exactly was in the hallway, and zeroed in on Bernadette.

"Good evening, my fair lady," he said, giving a little bow. "What brings you to our little corner?"

"I was just dropping off Penny," Bernadette said, motioning to her friend, who was still leaning against Leonard. "You guys have come by the restaurant, right?"

"That we have," Howard said, encouraged by the fact that she remembered him. "And may I say, you look beautiful outside of that uniform."

Rolling his eyes, Raj followed Howard and Bernadette in silence down the stairs, leaving Leonard and Penny alone in the hallway.

"Penny?" Leonard asked, wondering if she'd fallen asleep on her feet.

"Mmmhmm?"

"How about we go inside?"

"Mmm."

Leonard took that as a yes, and gently took the keys from her hand to unlock the door. He lead her to the couch, where she promptly lied down, and then he stood to the side next to her, unsure of what to do next. His theory about what had happened would have been difficult enough to explain to anyone while they were sober, let alone someone who had had too much to drink.

"Leonard?" she asked suddenly.

"Yes."

"Can you sit on the couch with me?"

She lifted her head and motioned for him to sit on the end. Hesitating only for a moment, Leonard quickly gave in and sat where she instructed. She settled back into the couch, her head now on his lap.

"I missed this," she said, so quietly Leonard had to strain to hear it. "Us."

"Yeah, me too," Leonard said. Though he wasn't sure if they'd ever been in quite this situation before, he could surely relate to simply missing her, to feeling like somehow he wasn't complete when she wasn't there.

Absentmindedly he gently stroked her hair, running his fingers through it, loosening the knots, pulling it back behind her ears. She relaxed further into his lap and let out a content sigh. Leonard closed his own eyes, thinking he could practically fall asleep like this himself.

"Leonard?" she asked again.

"Yes?"

"I think I loved you," she said. He was wide awake now. "But I think I was scared."

"Scared?" Leonard asked, hoping just to keep her talking.

She nodded into his lap.

"Love just led to later heartache," she said quietly. "And I didn't want to lose you."

"You won't lose me," Leonard said, still running his fingers though her hair. "I'll be right here."

Penny fell asleep a few minutes later. Leonard remained in his spot for a short while longer, ensuring she truly was fast asleep, with no desire to move away from her anyway. But when his legs began to fall asleep, he reluctantly slid out from under her, carefully placing a pillow under her head instead.

He wondered if he should go back to his apartment to spend the night - clearly he wasn't going to get a chance to explain his theory to Penny tonight - but he didn't like the thought of being so far away, and leaving without telling Penny where he was going.

Glancing around her apartment, he spied the door in the back that led to her bedroom. Again he hesitated, but his exhaustion was too much to fight, and he made his way to the back room. Besides, it wasn't like he'd never slept there before - he'd done much more than sleep there, if he remembered correctly.

The room was exactly as he remembered it. He didn't bother to pull back the covers, just collapsing on top of them instead once he'd kicked off his shoes, but he did push all her stuffed animals to the side. Even if he wasn't going to do anything other than sleep, he still felt kind of creeped out with them just sitting and staring at him.

As he thought about how to best approach the situation in the morning when Penny woke up, his mind again went on a detour of its own, as he remembered he last time he'd been in this bed.

"_Did you just quote Yoda?" he asked incredulously, a smile filling his face._

"_I believe I quoted The Empire Strike Back." Her voice was confident, almost smug. He'd been happy enough that she sat through the whole movie with him, but for her to remember it and quote it later…_

"_I can't believe I'm lying in bed with a beautiful girl who can quote Star Wars," he said. Of course, that was barely the surface of it all. He couldn't believe that he was lying there with Penny, the woman who had caught his attention since the day she moved in, who he could always count on to cheer him up, or joke around with, or even just share an amused look with over Sheldon's most recent antics. She was more than just the girl next door, she was… Penny. And he couldn't imagine life without her._

_But he couldn't quite put all that into words, so he kissed her instead, trying to impart what he knew he'd never be able to say. There was a reason he went into science, after all, and not the language arts._

_But there was one thing he could say, had been thinking of saying for a while, and now suddenly seemed like the right moment._

"_I love you, Penny."_

_But instead of the "I love you, too," or even (though he knew it was a long shot) the "I know," continuing the Star Wars quotes… He saw Penny look like a deer caught in the headlights._

"_Thank you," she said once she'd composed herself, and Leonard had never known how much those two words could hurt._


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Even before opening his eyes, Leonard remembered exactly where he was when he woke up in the morning. How could he not, with the scent of Penny's coconut shampoo on her pillows?

Rolling over in her bed, he remembered the new memory that had resurfaced last night. Not just remembered it - felt it. He could still feel that overwhelming love for Penny, so strong that he had no choice but to tell her. And he could still feel that crushing disappointment and confusion when she didn't return the sentiment.

Then he remembered what Penny had told him just last night. _I think I loved you. I was scared._

If he wasn't already crazy, surely he'd been there soon unless they figured out how to sort though this mess.

Penny was still asleep on the couch when Leonard went to check on her, so Leonard put a pot of coffee on as he waited. Sure enough, the aroma drafting through her small apartment woke her up, and by the time she was sitting Leonard had prepared a cup of coffee just how she liked it - two sugars, no creams.

She didn't ask how he knew how she liked her coffee. He wouldn't have had a solid answer anyway; it had just came to him, like her cell number when he'd dialed it the night before.

"Thank you," she merely said, taking a small sip as she allowed it to cool.

"No problem."

They sat in silence, drinking their respective coffees, until finally Leonard felt he couldn't hold it off much longer.

"Look," he started, "about what I was going to say last night…"

"If this has anything to do with something I said-" Penny started, but Leonard cut her off.

"No. It's something I was dropping by to talk to you about, before I knew you were out with Bernadette. I think I might have found a breakthrough in our."

Penny spit out the coffee she had been about to swallow.

"What? When, how? Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Well last night you were a little drunk," Leonard said, slightly defensively. "And it's not like I've waited very long to tell you this morning."

"Well fine, just tell me now what it is."

"Look, last night I had this weird phone with Sheldon -"

"Weirder than usual?"

"Way weirder. He seemed to think Raj and I were in the middle of some big fight."

Penny's eyes widened, but she didn't say anything.

"But before he could explain what we were fighting about, the phone disconnected," Leonard continued. "I called him right back, but he didn't seem to have any memory of that first call, or what he'd talked about in it."

"So Sheldon's going crazy too?" Penny asked with a frown.

Leonard shook his head.

"No more than usual. But I think I might have been talking to the alternate Sheldon the first time. When this all started, that first day, especially, I had this anger towards Raj… That'd make sense if we were in some sort of fight. And then I noticed these spikes on the printout, and they match up with these from the night before this all started."

Penny looked at the data, trying to make sense of it.

"So you're saying the machine somehow caused this universe switching stuff?"

"I don't know if it actually caused it, or is just recording readings of the changes, but it's proof at least that this isn't all in our heads."

"How is that even possible, though?"

"Quantum mechanics," Leonard said simply. "It all has to do with looking at matter and energy at the subatomic level. It's like that science joke you memorized… or I think you did. Anyway, same principle, just an even more extreme example of it."

Penny continued to stare at the papers.

"So does any of this give you an answer of how to fix things?"

Leonard shook his head.

"It helps knowing that there's definitely something going on, but we still don't know why it's happening. I'd have to take a closer look at the conditions when the two spikes occurred, look for other connections. And then maybe if it happens again, that would give us more data…"

"But basically the universe is just out to get us," Penny summed up. Leonard shrugged.

"Basically. Hey, at least you get what you wanted," he added, trying to sound casual. "Staying here and all."

"It's not that I _want_ to stay here," Penny bristled. "I'm just -"

"Scared?" Leonard offered.

For a second he could see her anger growing, could sense her preparing for a fight, but then the tension left and her shoulders sagged.

"Not exactly," she said carefully. "Not like I was before." She gave him a meaningful look, and he knew that "before" meant the before that didn't happen here. "And what you said last night, about it not feeling quite right here - I get that, too. But at the same time I have this bad feeling about going back.

"You said something about a fight with Raj - I think it has to do with that. I just - I've had this feeling. I think - I _know_ - I did something… something I regret," Penny said. "I don't remember what, but I just have this huge sense of dread about it… And I was worried I'm going to lose you over it. And I'm afraid if we go back now, I still might."

Leonard frowned.

"You don't know that that's it. You can't blame yourself when you can't even remember what it was."

Penny shrugged.

"Well we're now here, aren't we? So I guess I was just thinking that maybe this is supposed to be like a second chance. A fresh start or something."

Leonard gently reached out to take her hand, intertwining their fingers again like the night before.

"You're not going to lose me," he insisted. "Maybe we've wasted all of these years living across from each other and doing nothing. Maybe we just lost the memories of those years by some weird fluke. Maybe the universe has it's own reason for this that has nothing at all to do with us. But now that we're figuring things out, I'm not going to get anything come between us again."

"And if you can't stop it?" Penny asks. "If it happens anyway?"

"Then…then it's just not meant to be," Leonard said, his heart nearly breaking as he said it. "Didn't - didn't you tell me that once?"

Penny shrugged.

"If not here, then somewhere, I suppose."

"We may remember it all eventually, anyway," Leonard reasoned. "I mean, we keep remembering more and more… So here or there, it may not make much of a difference. But I will do everything in my power to find a way to work it out. And hey, at least we're still together, right?"

"Right," Penny said with a small smile. "Together."

She leaned over to rest against his side, and Leonard was once again struck by how perfectly they fit together, how little everything else seemed to matter when he was with her. She tilted her face up to meet his, and their lips met in a gentle kiss.

As real as those memories had felt of his time with Penny, nothing compared to her warm body next to him at that moment, her lips moving against his. One of her hands snaked up to the back of his head, toying with the short curls, and Leonard was determined to cement every detail in his memory, because this was _not_ something he wanted to forget.

When at last the kiss ended Penny snuggled back against Leonard's side. He kept an arm securely around her, holding her close.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I know. I love you too."

* * *

><p>Miles away, in Leonard's empty office at Caltech, the readings spiked again.<p>

The beeping of his alarm jerked Leonard out of his sleep. He kept his eyes screwed tight shut, not wanting to face the day. He blindly swung his arm towards the direction of the offending alarm clock, feeling satisfaction as his hand hit it and turned off the alarm.

He cracked his eyes open against the early morning sunlight, the rays illumination his room and the new black comforter he'd been forced to buy a few days earlier. If he could have had his way, he would have purchased a whole new bed and mattress, but that wasn't something he could quite afford at the moment, and the logical part of his brain knew that would be slightly overkill. (Even though the bitter part of his brain said that flat out moving to another state would be overkill, and even that had sounded like an appealing option.)

The events of the past night came back to him, and he screwed his eyes shut again, pulled the blanket over the top of his head. He'd finally confronted Raj… and it hadn't gone well. Leonard knew he didn't really have the _right_ to be mad or upset. He had been dating Priya, after all, had been sleeping with her in Raj's apartment… And he'd even given Raj his blessing to bring back girls to his room (though he'd never dreamed in a million years that that could include _Penny_). But knowing how he _should_ feel didn't change what he _was_ feeling, and he couldn't help that.

So he'd yelled. He heard Raj yell, really yell, for the first time. And they'd both said things he was sure they'd regret. But then Penny had come home, and caught part of the fight through the open apartment door, and escaped into her own apartment.

Unable to take any more for the night, Leonard had turned and escaped to his room. Raj didn't come after him, and Leonard eventually assumed that he'd simply left.

When he'd gone to sleep, Leonard had been doubtful that things would ever be fixed, either between him and Raj or him and Penny. They'd gone through their fair share of ups and downs before, but never anything quite like this.

Now Leonard tried to summon up that indignation, that anger, from the night before. He'd found that having that to hold on to made the day slightly easier to get through - easier at least than just feeling sorry for himself. But to his surprise, it wasn't there.

Instead flashes of strange dreams were hitting him, all of them featuring Penny. He couldn't remember the specifics, but he remembered being happy. It had been a while since he could remember being truly happy and at ease.

Holding on to the remnants of his dreams, he sat up and reached for his glasses. Maybe today would be better.


End file.
